Another defining moment for me on this trip was spending about 20 minutes with Bishop Moses. I was sitting in the computer room needing a little time to myself and the Bishop walks in with a simple "How are you?"
So all along the way I've been listening to Bishop share his vision, passion, stories, his understanding of the Dalit plight, etc. But I can't say that I connected yet with the human side of Bishop. It's not that he didn't share his life, but I tend to have the "sales pitch" radar on. And hold on to a little skepticism about things.
So Bishop walks in and we have a little small talk - but Bishop is no good at small talk and we're hit with some silence. And what I like to do with older leaders is ask them for some free wisdom. It saves me money on buying their books and going to their seminars.
So I ask Bishop, "What advice would you give me as a young leader?" And he said that he didn't really know my context and that he never really ministered in the US. And I then responded that I didn't need ministry advice - what I was looking for was this, "How do you stay strong in the Lord?"
A little smile comes on and he lets out a long, slow, "ahhhhhhhh." And then he says, "You know how you stay strong in the Lord? It's through suffering." And right then I knew... I knew I was in for it.
The Bishop began to recount a lot of his struggles these past few years. He had open-heart surgery recently and has been experiencing a lot of physical setbacks from that. He shared how he has this really large vision for his people, but his people don't understand it. They see the money being brought in to build the school, but they would rather have new homes and more food and don't understand the long term vision of raising up the Dalit people. He shared how he bears the weight of the financial burden for funding his vision and he doesn't know how he's going to pay it back with the world in financial crisis.
And he shared how this journey is often a lonely one - no one understands it the way he does. But he shares how he doesn't have much choice - he's compelled by the Gospel. He driven to be about the kingdom. And that requires that he make some sacrifices.
He shared that there is no religion in the world that promises the same degree of freedom. A freedom that truly reaches the core of our being. But he also says that there is no call more costly then following Jesus. There is no religion in the world that asks for everything, calls for complete surrender, with no right of rebuttal.
Photo from Dave
You know those moments in life where truth really hits home? You hear something and maybe you've been ignoring it somehow. But it finds its way into the deepest parts of your soul. And it just sits there... knowing that you have no right to kick it out. And you can't help but to smile... it's the smile of resignation... when you give in to something that is good, but know will also hurt.
He continues and says, "I don't believe in the prosperity gospel." He shared how he would lie in bed in pain from his various ailments and would cry to God for relief. And rarely did God respond with physical relief. And he told me that Jesus cried out to God to take away the cup, but God didn't take it away. Didn't provide a miracle to make it all feel better. And then Bishop dropped another bomb on me... he said, "If God didn't give Jesus a miracle, why would he give you one?"
As a disclaimer, it's not that he doesn't believe in miracles and the statement shouldn't be over scrutinized theologically. Bishop was making a point... it's God desire to use life to help us understand the Cross. He said all our suffering is so that we would see God for who he really is - understand his work on the Cross - the price he had to pay so that we would have life and life with him. And understand his love in way that health and wealth would never reveal.
Bishop shared how he would pray for relief from the physical pain and God would remind him of the pain that Jesus endured for him. He said that his pain reminded him of Jesus pain; Jesus' pain would remind him of Jesus' love for him. The love needed to endure the pain of the Cross. And then Bishop would say, "Ahhh... Jesus' love... his love is better than my pain."
Photo from Dave
He continued by saying that his favorite theme in theology is expiation. The work that is accomplished on the Cross by Jesus on our behalf. He says that there is nothing more fascinating, nothing more intriguing and nothing more captivating.
And then he pauses... the smile on his face is still there... angles his head slightly up and diagonally and looks gazingly into nowhere and says slowly and deliberately, "I just love Jesus."
And right then I knew another thing... I knew he was for real. I had no doubts about his vision, his passion, his authenticity. Of course he's not perfect... but I saw his heart in the raw and it throbbed. It throbbed for Jesus. It wasn't driven by ambition or fame. It was compelled by the love of God.
Right then, it also confirmed much of what I was learning these past few years. Having endured [or continuing to endure] a season of confusion, frustration, struggle and dying and seeing God redeem it in ways that are unexplainable... all I could I do is give that smile of resignation again. It's not always things you want to hear... but things that you know are true. The kind of truth that brings both comfort and condemnation; sets you free and enslaves you to what is right.
This was all in 20 minutes. I left the room to go have dinner and I just had a glaze over my face. The tension of comfort and condemnation writhing in me... but sitting well balanced on the thin line that divides the two.
Photo from Dave
We would see the Bishop preach to his people... spend time admonishing a few of his pastors... call out some of the students on their uncombed hair... and Mike would say, "He [they] got BISHOPED!" Meaning Bishop would set them straight... drop the wisdom bomb... and you wouldn't know what hit you.
Comments (2)
This is a wonderful entry.
This was so sweet. How refreshing. Thanks for posting.